Jamie Lynn’s Anything but Rockin’ 17th

Pretend you’re the multimillionaire toast of the tween set, seven months pregnant and gestating in a pocket of the deep South with a median household income of $20,000. Where would you and your putative babydaddy want to spend your 17th birthday?

Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge chose the best the backwoods burg McComb, Mississippi, has to offer—Ruby Tuesday! And just look at what a ball they’re having—it’s painful just being a fly on the wall.

The night caps a balls-to-the-wall spree at big-box Wal-Mart, where they no doubt loaded up the wagon with onesies and wipeys. Pair that with cheddar fries, a bison bacon burger, sautéed baby portabellas (for a touch of L.A.), some sweet tea and a blondie, and you’ve got all the fixin’s for a milestone to remember.