This Just In: Stars Make More Than You!

Times are tough, people, just not for the Hollywood A-list, brand-name jocks, and Leona Helmsley’s Maltese.

Parade mag is back with its 25th annual “What People Earn” salary report, and the results will only make you feel like a flop. While the nation’s median salary last year was $36,140, the mean among the 17 celebrity participants was $44 million.

How’s that workin’ for ya? Among the revelations, Oprah raked in $260 mil, It girl Katherine Heigl just $11 million. Teeny twin Mary-Kate Olsen garnered $17 mil (does she even have a job?!), while thespian with a conscience Scarlett Johansson scared up only $5 million.

Big O protege Dr. Phil McGraw raked in $90 million, and Helmsley’s pooch gets $12 mil for kibbles ‘n’ bits from a trust left by its Queen of Mean mom.

Moral to the story and the only concession to regular Joes? The bucks you get are not directly proportionate to the talent you possess.