William Hung Retires His 15 Minutes

William Hung has changed career paths.

America took the beloved laughingstock to its bosom after his seemingly developmentally challenged rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” on American Idol.

The tone-deaf aspirational performer is now taking a double major of math and education at California State Northridge so that he can eventually teach math.

Hung recorded three albums that were purchased by psychotic American Idol completists and fraternities looking for music to chortle to during beer pong.

He envisions a life of “helping young children.”

“Whatever you believe in, and if you keep trying, you can eventually succeed,” he said.

Especially if that dream is to make money off our country’s slightly racist tendency to find cuteness in homely contenders who do wacky things.