Mariah Carey Says Rugrats Won’t Rain on Her Parade

Often scantily clad, pop diva Mariah Carey has tortured herself and spent a mint dieting, working out and pampering herself to maintain her trademark superstar looks. So, family experts show no surprise that Ms. Carey has few intentions of squeezing any children through her uterus, although she is leaving procreation open as a vague possibility in the future.

Queerly insightful Mariah explained that giving birth would make her feel “violated … I know that’s a kind of weird thing to say, but that’s how I am.”

She’s such a busy woman. It would be about as difficult for Maternal-bypass Mariah to fit a baby into her life as it would be for her to find maternity clothes that were skimpy enough for her liking.