Can Ellen Out Ashlee’s Pregnancy?

Publicity junkie Ashlee Simpson made like a politician when asked on The Ellen DeGeneres Show whether or not she was pregnant. The flat-ironed floozy’s response was meandering, vague and ended with her assertion that it was a subject she “choose[s] personally not to discuss.”

This, after an extended Ashlee ramble about how much she really, really, really, really, really didn’t want to talk about it.

All this “not discussing” her maybe-imaginary pregnancy must be a highly aerobic activity for Ashlee, because as the infamous lip-syncher herself pointed out, there’s no visible baby bump. This lack was highlighted by the newly engaged famemonger’s weak attempt at a joke when she asked the audience and Ellen, “Do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something?”

With that, she stood up and said, “Because I don’t think I do,” and the sound of crickets chirping was just barely drowned out by her booming self-congratulatory laughter, which when rewound and played back slowly, sounds an awful lot like the words “please buy my music.”

Then she danced a little jig to alleviate the palpable tension.