Pam Anderson Is an American from Implants to Toes

Pamela Anderson has recently become a genuine American. The Canadian pinup mom and B-list celebrity’s first act as a U.S. citizen involved a journey to Washington, D.C., to protest animal testing. Pammy loves those critters!

She’s delivering a PETA science report near the Capitol Building and pleading with the government to replace animal testing with technology that is already being used in Europe. Think testing on Europeans rather than upon more loveable beasts. Just kidding.

“Being a citizen excites me not just because I can vote but because I can crack the whip on Capitol Hill to defend animals,” says the recently divorced mother of two and magician’s assistant. And you know she’s had experience cracking whips. Leather ones.

Pammy is hot off of having her marriage with One Night in Paris sleaze mogul Rick Saloman annulled. Rick and Pamela were married in a quickie ceremony in Vegas last October. Couldn’t someone have protested THAT?

In other Pam news, her reality show (no, really, that’s what they’re calling it) on E! will be called, appropriately, Pammy.

Calling this hepatitis-riddled party girl’s reality show an “observational documentary” (no, seriously) is like calling Anderson herself a “generously chested activist thespian,” as opposed to “famous tramp with huge boobs who sorta acts, into animals.”