Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon’s Insta-Marriage Confirmed

Queen of the Lambs Mariah Carey, 39, has indeed married actor Nick Cannon, 27, on the Caribbean island of Eleuthera. Latina magazine was first to report that the two tied the knot, though the only known celebrity in attendance was Carey’s constant companion, rapper Da Brat. Perhaps she was the thuggish flower girl.

Carey and Cannon met in March when he was cast as the love interest in the video for her upcoming single “Bye, Bye.” They got “hot and heavy,” and were spotted partying in Las Vegas and last week at a Tribeca fete for the premiere of the songbird’s film, Tennessee. (Yes, she acts!)

“[Mariah is] probably the most festive, remarkable person I’ve ever met,” Cannon told MTV News this week. Festive? Is she a damn pinata. Then agan, you can’t blame him, she dresses like one.

Cannon himself was engaged last year to Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, but they split in October. They had dated for four months prior to their engagement. Anyone see a pattern?

The only possible fly in this ointment, okay, one of the possible flies in this crazy crazy ointment, is the startling resemblance in the engagement ring that Cannon gave Ebanks and the one that Carey was sporting at the movie party.

Granted, it’s been determined that the two sparklers are not the same, but they sure look like they came out of the same multimillion-dollar crackerjack box.

When Mariah takes off her pink Marc Jacobs shades and actually takes a gander, the eery resemblance might have Cannon ending up with some very deep stiletto holes in his forehead. Good job on dodging that pre-nup though, son.