Suri Cruise in Early Rehearsals to Play Anne Frank

Part one of Oprah Winfrey’s May Sweeps interview with maniacal religious nut Tom Cruise finally went down today. Oprah braved the desolate, snowy wilds of Telluride, Colorado, to speak to Tom at his wooden domicile, where they keep their monogrammed shoes in little cubbies.

Katie Holmes greeted the talk queen with her master hubby, then excused herself so she could “take the kids into town,” (huh? did they have another one?!) and kept telling Oprah she loved her. (That’s code for HELP. ME. PLEASE.)