Amy Winehouse Too Cracked to Work

Groovy-stylish record producer Mark Ronson has pronounced Amy Winehouse “unable to work.” Ronson, the knob-twirler of Crackhouse’s multiple-Grammy-winning disc Back to Black, was collaborating with Winehouse on the theme to the new James Bond movie. Production on the track has been halted. It’s hard to record when the singer keeps torching and smoking the microphone.

Ronson said in an interview with Britain’s Sky TV it would take a “miracle of science” for Winehouse to finish the track for the 22nd Bond film, Quantum of Solace. It would also take a miracle of rehab, detox and, probably, exorcism.

Winehouse’s much publicized difficulties have included drug abuse, a husband in prison for trial fixing, self-mutilation and, most recently, an arrest for assault. The fun lover reportedly head-butted two men outside a pub two weeks ago. Don’t wince; it’s not like she would have felt it.

You can admire Ronson for his initial optimism, but he really had no chance in hell of getting the girl to pronounce “quantum of solace,” let alone use the phrase in a song.

You’d be lucky to hear her sing “nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey, goodbye” at this point.

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