Ashley Olsen’s Twin Is Her Less Hot Shadow

For its Hot 100 List, Maxim believes that spot #47 should be occupied by Ashley Olsen. However, the slightly less emaciated Olsen gal’s twin sister, Mary-Kate, remains conspicuously absent from the list of sexually desirable females. Scandal! The incident is reminiscent of the first landmark operation that successfully separated conjoined twins—you know, when Flavor Flav broke up Thing 1 and Thing 2 by sending the slightly less attractive twin home.

Never have the physical differences between the two identical twins been more apparent than at the Costume Institute Gala. Poor Mary-Kate looked like she was hiding underneath piles of tousled hair and gold lamé for fear of judgment, while her sister opted for a more sleek, revealing look that highlighted her newfound identity as “the hot one.”

Ashley went so far as to expose slices of side-abdomen, an almost unimaginable occurence. It wasn’t long ago that both girls seemed determined to wear their entire wardrobe at once any time they left the house.

However, science has yet to determine how long a twin can survive after his or her “hotness” is extracted from the “twin factor.” Will Mary-Kate recover and rise to her sister’s ranking on the sex appeal index? Or will Ashley drop to her sibling’s level of drabness? Only time will tell if the twins will eventally be typecast in The Hottie and the Nottie: The Sequel.