Max Liron Won’t Starve Anytime Soon
Pop sensation and newly minted MILF Christina Aguilera was sashaying through the streets of New York yesterday, flaunting a look that never goes out of style: Delightfully swollen mommy-mounds barely constrained by an overburdened dress.
While Christina’s 4-month-old son, Max Liron, appears to be a normal-sized infant at the moment, it’s a safe bet that, with those nutritional sources to draw from, he’ll soon grow into a gigantic super-baby so powerful that he’ll probably be enlisted in the War on Terror before his first birthday.
Come to think of it, Christina has a wonderful opportunity to flex her altruistic, uh, muscles. With skyrocketing food prices, dairy products are becoming prohibitively expensive for lower-income Americans. With the assets at her disposal, Christina could go a long way in making sure that your fellow countrymen’s needs are met in these grim economic times.
Come on, Christina; do it! Be a hero!