Audrina Half Naked = Grim Sign of the Times

Audrina Half Naked = Grim Sign of the Times-photo

An unpopular war with no end in sight. Four-dollar-a-gallon gas.

Americans are sacrificing a lot lately. But this is going too far.

Second-tier Hills cast member Audrina Patridge is currently in Hawaii, filming the direct-to-DVD sequel to 2005's Into the Blue. As any connoisseur of female flesh knows, the original film starred Jessica Alba.

Sure, Patridge is no heifer. And in a certain light, from certain angles, with a certain amount of alcohol involved, she might even be considered not unattractive.

And, yes, Into the Blue was no Citizen Kane.

But if they're going to make an inferior sequel to an already lousy movie, they should at least find a female lead who's somewhere near the same league as the original's star.

Audrina Patridge is to Jessica Alba what Alpo is to prime rib. What roller skates are to a jet plane. What Richard Simmons is to Conan the Barbarian.

And no, it doesn't really help that someone is applying oil to her buttocks in some of these photos. That's like sprinkling a dash of pepper onto a week-old grilled-cheese sandwich and trying to pass it off as a gourmet meal.

If things go any further downhill in this country, it might be time for a revolt.

 

Discuss

Default avatar
  • lisatee
    lisatee

    omg, she does have upside down eyes!

  • notobsessed
    notobsessed

    lindsay should be in the movie!

  • hwoodgrrl
    hwoodgrrl

    audrina blaaaahdrige

  • colormebadd
    colormebadd

    Boob job for sure, is she awake?

  • buzzbuddy
    buzzbuddy

    I agree -- she got re-inflated

  • chichilavie
    chichilavie

    she looks like droopy the dog. well maybe without the jowls, unless you consider her chest jowls.

  • xoxojaniepie
    xoxojaniepie

    She comes nowhere NEAR jessica alba. Look at that face. Ew

  • gossipguy
    gossipguy

    her boobs look huge! they are definitely larger than they were before...

  • rockinout
    rockinout

    damn

 

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