Jamie Lynn Spears: Birth of a Dynasty

Knocked-up, half-barefoot and munching on phallic food products is no way to go through life, young lady.

Or maybe it is.

Increasingly pregnant, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears offers a bucolic glimpse of life in rural America as she lounges on an ATV in flip-flops and chows down on what appears to be a popsicle or some sort of meat on a stick.

It couldn’t be more perfect, could it? Well, perhaps if the ATV had a pair of booties hanging from the handlebars, but let’s not quibble.

Of course, it’s probably not fair to harp on a hometown favorite who’s lost her chance to be prom queen. She has a right to relax, what with planning her quickie wedding to fiancé Casey Aldridge (reception at Applebee’s?) and hosting not one, but two, baby showers. (Hope someone got them a crib with a rack for that shotgun.)

And if Jamie Lynn keeps working on those popsicles or meat sticks or whatever they are, she just might pick up some vital skills that could prevent her from becoming teenage and pregnant again.