Jennifer Aniston Is a Size Queen

Jennifer Aniston is reportedly “so happy and giggly” in her relationship with musician John Mayer that it’s “completely out of character,” a source tells the New York Daily News. And what could be causing such bliss for the normally subdued actress? It’s John’s gigantic penis. Ride em’, cowgirl!

Mayer allegedly is working with quite the power tool, and it’s keeping Aniston all sorts of satisfied. And at least one ex agrees. “His body actually is a wonderland,” a surely bowlegged former flame has said.

Jennifer is seemingly oblivious to ex-husband Brad Pitt becoming a father for the sixth time in a couple of months, as well as to Mayer ex Jessica Simpson’s reported devastation over her relationship with him. Mayer’s junk has apparently given her a whole new lease on life.

When the emo rocker isn’t sexually healing the Friends millionairess, he’s remembering his fans on his official blog…and in person. He recently made a surprise appearance at the birthday party of Richard Young, webmaster of, the longest-running John Mayer fansite.

“I can’t fathom why someone with as much energy and enthusiasm as Richard would continue to moderate his message board, but I think it has something to do with faith,” Mayer said. “So when Richard emailed me the bar he’d be at celebrating, I had to drop by.

“And Richard, when you wake up tomorrow morning and take a look at this picture of us and wish to yourself there was a better representation of how you really appear, now you know what it feels like.”

Now, that’s a big man. No word yet on whether Richard Young has seen John’s gigantic schlong.