Ali Lohan Redefines Normal

Never let it be said that Ali Lohan is not a proponent of personal responsibility.

Lindsay’s kid sister and protege appeared on the Late Show With David Letterman last night to hype her upcoming E! network reality show, Living Lohan. Ali launched her self-promotional spiel by accusing the tabloids of portraying her family in an unfair light. Apparently, in Ali’s eyes, a typical day at Casa Lohan is something right out of a Norman Rockwell portrait.

Ali claimed that the show would “set the record straight that we’re not just this crazy family or these crazy people…[w]e’re just a normal family like any other family in America.”

Ali Lohan, you have just insulted every family in America. Your family is normal? Let’s start out with you, Ali; you’re 14 years old, and you look 30. Do you have some kind of rare aging disease?

Does “any other family in America” have a jailbird dad? A 21-year-old daughter who, in addition to already racking up multiple rehab stints, was recently deemed too unreliable to portray a Manson girl?

Think about that, Ali; in the eyes of Hollywood—which isn’t exactly a reliable barometer of “normal” in the first place—the  Manson family is more stable than the Lohan family.

Do you think you would even have a reality show if your family was normal? No; America recognizes your clan as the freak show it is, and is fully expecting a fiasco of Donner party proportions.

View the full video below: