‘American Idol’: David Won

The older, way more arrogant David is our new American Idol. David Cook won Idol last night, in a show that garnered the highest amount of viewers voting to date. This year, the show received 97.5 million votes cast compared with last year’s 23 million. Cook won with 56 to 44 percent of the vote, according to host Ryan Seacrest.

David Archuleta’s Great Santini of a father was obviously unable to go through with his plan to take hostages at knifepoint until his son was crowned the winner.

Last night’s season-seven finale was chock-full of celebrities and performances from this season’s past contestants. George Michael ended a medley of his tunes performed by the Idol kids by coming out and gamely attempting to get through “Praying for Time.” It made Paula Abdul cry, but people get emotional when they’re drinking.

David Cook realized his honky-tonk I’m-never-going-to-sing-anything-this-genuine-ever-again rock dreams when he got to sing “Sharp Dressed Man” with ZZ Top. Archie sang “Apologize” with the extremely generic, future wedding band One Republic.

Mike Myers made an appearance as his next unfunny character to plug a movie that even jokey frat boys are going to avoid.

The real show, though, was Janice Dickinson in the audience, terrifying people with her Steve Tyler face and plans to seduce David Archuleta after the broadcast. She’s a live wire, that one.