Michael Jackson Plays Peekaboo

Eccentric friend to underage boys everywhere Michael Jackson made a rare appearance at the Ultimate Fighting Championship at the MGM Grand in Vegas on Saturday night.

Michael, sitting in a wheelchair (?), was clothed from head to toe in a chilling black, burqa-like ensemble with just an eyehole for optimum viewing. The cover-up was more for the general public’s benefit than his own—no one wants to be cheering on two guys beating each other bloody and then realizing that Edward Molesterhands is sitting beside you, talking about climbing trees and inviting you to a sleepover. No thanks.

This choice of outfit and mode of transportation when he’s an able-bodied ghoul is sure to render America’s opinion of him as a frightening specter without merit. Yet the choice of Elephant Man attire seems oddly fitting, given Jacko’s previous brush with John Merrick fame.

Jackson seems to be upping his public profile, as he made an appearance at designer Christian Audigier’s 50th birthday party in Los Angeles this past week. He left the schmatta at home that night, instead sporting a blue satin shirt with silver spangles. Olé!

M.J., reportedly (and inexplicably) a cage-fighting fan, wheeled his way to the UFC event just as Jenna Jameson boyfriend Tito Ortiz was being defeated. Tito probably threw the match to get the hell out of there before Michael rolled over to try and meet him.