Hollywood to Get Even More Fake

With celebrity shenanigans at an all-time high, Jules Asner had a formidable task with her new mystery novel Whacked—writing a fictional book about stars that manages to trump the bizarre happenings of real-life Hollywood.

Asner, wife of director Steven Soderbergh and a former correspondent for E! Entertainment, peppered her dark tale of betrayal and payback with appearances by show-biz notables such as Ryan Seacrest, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore. And not all of the references are likely to sit well with the subjects—one passage characterizes Barrymore as “about to expire like spoiled milk.” (Oh, snap! Way to put the “ow” in “me-ow,” Ms. Asner!)

Asner seems largely unconcerned about whether her tome will lead to bruised feelings among fragile Tinseltown egos. “I didn’t ask permission. Maybe I should have!” the author told the New York Daily News. “I know Ryan—I don’t think he’d be bothered. And Jen is the sweetest, nicest person in the world. I’d only mention her in a great capacity.”

Jennifer Aniston the nicest person in the world? Now that sounds like fiction. If she were so great, she wouldn’t have so much trouble keeping a man, now would she?