Sam and LiLo: The Wedding’s Off!

Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi can breathe a sigh of relief. It doesn’t look like Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson will be beating them to the altar.

Despite persistent rumors and their curiously intimate moment at Cannes last week, LiLo and her buddy Sam apparently aren’t engaged and have no plans to wed.

When a TMZ cameraman offered Ronson the opportunity to “settle the rumors right now,” the perpetually chapeau-ed platter spinner issued a curt but emphatic, “Not true.”

We just wish she had said something before we went out and bought them a wedding present.

Now what do we do with these three cases of Antabuse?