Naomi Charged for Charging Like a Bull

The natural disaster more commonly known as Naomi Campbell has been charged in regards to her April 3 rampage on police and Heathrow Airport staff. On the day of the incident, Campbell was preparing to board a flight headed for Los Angeles, when a mishap with her luggage triggered her notoriously quick temper.

Supermodel Naomi had six charges leveled against her, including two counts of using threatening, abusive words or behavior toward cabin crew, one count of disorderly conduct and three of assaulting a constable. Speaking for his client, Naomi’s lawyer Simon Nicholls said, “Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offenses.

“Prosecutors in this case have decided she needs to be prosecuted in the magistrates court. She respects that decision, and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously.”

Clearly he neglected to add, “Or else she’ll have to let her molten fury down rain down on them.” However, everyone was already thinking it.