Dina and Michael Finally Shut the Hell Up

Desperate-for-attention Michael Lohan managed to get ex-wife/burgeoning reality star Dina Lohan to show up for a hearing in Long Island family court yesterday.

Humanity scored a victory when Michael disclosed to reporters that he and Dina had agreed in court not to disclose their private family matters in public anymore.

The Lohans then left court separately, each making the supreme effort not to spout off to the cameras. That must have been physically painful for them.

Michael told E! News prior to yesterday’s hearing that Dina, who has primary physical custody of kids Ali, 14 (but looks 45), and Cody, 11, has only brought them to “19 out of 31″ of their court-ordered visits with him. He said his ex-Rockette wife appears to be too busy with her E! reality show, Living Lohan.

“Now, I’m giving her one last chance to let me see them one day a week, on my own, and to go to therapy with them one day a week. If not, we’ll drag this through court again. My kids haven’t even seen my family in too long.”

The kids “haven’t even seen” any normal parenting in “too long,” either.

This kind of family life leads to tell-alls in 2025 and possible heroin addiction. Or to tabloids offering the eldest daughter a million dollars to admit she’s a lesbian.

Dina lives with Ali and Cody in the Long Island suburb of Merrick, and Michael has settled in nearby Southhampton. Look for the season finale of Living Lohan to feature Michael barging into their home with his own camera crew.

Hey, it’s 2008, dueling reality shows have replaced badmouthing the other parent during a messy divorce.