Brad Pitt’s $350,000 Shopping Spree

It bears repeating again and again: Celebrities are just like the rest of us.

Oh, no, wait. They’re totally not. In fact, they’re just the opposite of the average human being.

Exhibit A: Brad Pitt. The actor spent yesterday dropping more than 300 grand on knickknacks at the Design Miami/Basel fair in Switzerland, according to

Pitt’s biggest extravagance was a hollow, white-marble, rococo-style table by Dutch designer Jeroen Verhoeven, for which he shelled out $293,000.

Dude, seriously—$293,000? And the thing is hollow? You got burned.

Not content to stop there, Pitt picked up a pair of bronze Max Lamb chairs for the tidy sum of $25,000 each, according to Us magazine.

There’s some speculation that, since the purchases were made the day before Angelina Jolie’s 33rd birthday (that’d be June 4. Happy, happy, Angie—hope you got our card), Brad might have been putting together a very special present for his baby mama.

The bigger question is, Have you gone insane, Brad Pitt? You’ve got, what, 17 small kids, with two more on the way, and you’re filling your home with ridiculously expensive untouchable furniture?

Kids are messy. They gunk things up with their candy-stickied fingers. They draw on inappropriate surfaces with crayons. In their earlier stages, they’re veritable fountains of regurgitated spew.

And neither you nor your girl seem like the type to protect their furniture with plastic covering.

You may be pretty, but apparently you ain’t too smart, pal.