Kate Hudson Says a Whole Lot of Nothing

Apparently, Kate Hudson is unclear on the concept that, when you appear on a talk show, you’re supposed to, you know, talk.

Hudson dropped by The View today to dish with Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shepherd and Joy Behar today. While their yaps were flapping and sound was coming out, gleaning any kind of meaning from the babblefest was nearly impossible, especially when the topic turned to her relationship with bicycling legend Lance Armstrong.

After warming up Hudson with some softball repartee, Walters, who has known Kate since she was three—apparently, she and Hudson’s mom Goldie Hawn belonged to the same coven back in the day—asked if she’d like to confirm any rumors about her and Armstrong.
After a series of uhhs and umms, Hudson replied, “I just feel like any time you talk about something in your personal life, it becomes a headline, it becomes a different headline.”

Sure, Kate. Then it becomes a goldfish, which seems okay, until it becomes a 60-foot fire-breathing lizard, which can be a real problem. So, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t even want to get started.

Except you’ve already been seen swapping spit with Armstrong in tabloids all over the world, Kate—cat’s out of the bag. And even if you wanted to play coy, just say, “No comment.” Your verbal dysentery wastes oxygen, which endangers wildlife. And that’s bad all around.

But wait, there’s more! After demanding the right to her own privacy, Kate goes on, unsolicited, to talk about how her mother and father “are in Greece right now. They’re like two lovebirds all around Europe. They’re doing a cooking class, they’re on a bike trip.”

Oh, great, so it’s okay to blab about other people? A bit two-faced, no? No wonder Owen Wilson wasn’t all that broken up after you left him.

See the View exchange below.