The Twisted World According to Hulk Hogan

Woe is Hulk Hogan. The wrestler, reality-TV star and father of two sat in on Larry King Live last night to plead his case. Hulk’s son, Nick Bollea, is in a Florida jail serving eight months for the alcohol-related drag-racing crash that left his buddy in a vegetative state.

From the first day he entered jail, the kid has done nothing but complain about his treatment and beg to come home because “the cell is smaller than my bathroom.”  

The Hulkster wants the world to know “there’s been a lot of reckless reporting that isn’t accurate.” Alrighty, then, let’s take it from the top:

• Did his son drink alcohol Hulk himself bought? “I bought alcohol and took it out on the boat for the adults. Nick does not drink in my presence.”

• Was he allowed to whip around in a souped-up sports car despite previous citations? “Nick had a couple tickets. You know, one was when I was with him.”

• Did Nick beg his dad to line up a reality show so “I will make the most money”? Uh-huh. 

• Would he be pushing for empathy if the situation were reversed and it was Nick who was splayed out like sashimi? “Yes, I would feel, simply because of religiously and spiritually where I’m at—I would forgive.”

• What’s behind this entire nightmare? “Things happen for a reason. This is to make Nick a better person. In my belief, this is to make John a better person.”

Ohhhh-kay, don’t think a vegetative state is going to lead anyone toward being a better person. In a word, it was one uncomfortable hour. Judge for yourself…