Heidi and Spencer: ‘I Want My MTV Wedding!’

It’s probably best to sit down while reading this. The shock of it all just might bring on a fainting spell.

The Hills’ most gratuitous crimes against humanity, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, are negotiating with MTV brass to tie the knot during a live telecast, according to E! Online.

A source reports that the pair of publicity hounds have been talking to MTV bigwig Tony DiSanto about taking the plunge on the network, and DiSanto is agreeable to the notion.

Montag reportedly has her sights set on a small ceremony on Richard Branson’s Necker Island, in the British Virgin Islands.

Heidi’s ideal version of her greatest promo coup yet would include catering by Wolfgang Puck’s Cut restaurant, watches by Jason of Beverly Hills for all their guests and music by U2 (presumably, with Montag belting out an especially self-righteous version of “Higher”).

U2 as your wedding band? Sounds great!