Mama Lindsay? Oh, Dear God, No!
Do not be alarmed. Lindsay Lohan is not actually pregnant.
The party-positive actress donned a faux swollen belly for her role in the upcoming comedy Labor Pains, which began shooting this week and is one of the recent shoots from which she hasn't been let go.
Linds plays an assistant who pretends to be pregnant, in a last-ditch effort to keep from getting canned. Funny how art could imitate life, eh? The Lara Shapiro-helmed flick costars Chris Parnell, Cheryl Hines and Luke Kirby.
Good thing she's doesn't have a real baby in there. This sort of thing could send her, uh, friend Samantha Ronson over the edge, and she seems like the type who could really do some damage when spurned.
Besides, assuming Lohan's much beleaguered system could actually carry a child to term, the kid would probably be so blitzed by osmosis it'd get lost on the way out of the womb.