Kira Plastinina Dresses Plastic People
Russian fashion-designer wunderkind Kira Plastinina, 15, is on the fast track to international success, recently launching a teen-geared clothing line here in the United States.
With a clientele ranging from "Kim Kardashian's tall sister" to a secondary character on The Hills, Kira's pitching her whimsical wares to a willing if vapid range of human clothes hangers.
To be fair, Katharine McPhee, Hayden Panettiere and Chris Brown actually possess the semblance of talent, and they also showed up to support Kira's U.S. launch event.
The princess of plastic herself, Paris Hilton, has given Kira her stamp of approval by bringing her wonky eye to the show, securing Palastinina's status as an up-and-coming designer to the talentless yet inexplicably famous.
By the way, JoJo—to judge by her outfit—is now selling Mary Kay cosmetics and enjoys water aerobics and picking up her kids from soccer practice in her silver Pontiac after settling down and marrying some businessman in Orange County.
In case you were wondering why she suddenly looks 40 years old.