Spencer Pratt Called Out by David Letterman

Sign of our declining times Spencer Pratt made an appearance on Late Night with David Letterman Friday night. Letterman, obviously over having to speak to various idiots from The Hills, referred to Pratt as “a dope.” He qualified the accurate assessment with “on the show,” but he got his point across.

Pratt exhibited his usual douchey demeanor, professing his love for Heidi when he first sat down and pretending not to know who previous Letterman guest Lauren Conrad was. He was jarred out of his too-cool-for-school ‘tude when Lettermen, in asking how he got on The Hills, added, “How’d you get on this show, as a matter of fact?” Spencer seemed as mystified by that as the rest of us.

The self-important Svengali addressed the current idiotic feud (which may or may not be over) between Conrad and Audrina Patridge. He explained that Conrad needed “a new person not to like.”

When Letterman asked what exactly Pratt does for a living, Spencer said, “I live and breathe pop culture” and that he’s in a partnership with “the next Jay-Z” (who is 12, by the way) and “the next Michael Jackson.” God help us all.

Underscoring his exaggerated view of himself, Spence said he “won’t go to a club anymore for less than $100,000.” Cut to supportive girlfriend Heidi Montag in the greenroom, who confirmed the dollar amount by saying that she thought Spencer was “lowballing” it. A stunned Dave said, “What, does he bring a pony so kids can get their picture taken on it?”

So, is The Hills real? To Spencer, “Oh, it’s real. Sadly, it’s real.” Thank you for summing up your life for us all, man.