Charlie Sheen Is a Real Sweet-Talker

In the Nasty Voice-Mail Olympics, Alec Baldwin just lost the gold to Charlie Sheen.

A series of three-year-old voice-mail messages left by Sheen for his ex-wife, Denise Richards, were leaked onto the Internet today (hmmm, who could have done that?), and boy, are they doozies.

The messages, left in April 2005, precede Richards’ divorce filing by a year. A choice nugget follows below.

(The transcripts have been sanitized, so pretend you’re playing Wheel of Fortune, and buy a vowel when you see an asterisk.)

“Yea, I just got your other email, and I am a little confused because you told me that was something you only told a couple of people, and this and that, and I just, again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky, and you’re a f*cking liar. Okay. You’re a f*cking liar. So, you know what it’s like, f*ck you. Okay, I hope you rot in f*cking hell. You’re a piece of sh*t f*cking liar and I hope you f*cking rot in hell. So f*ck you. I hope I never f*cking talk to you again you f*cking c*nt. F*ck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a f*cking n*gger all right, so f*ck you.”

And no, Charlie wasn’t calling Denise a nagger.

Naturally, Sheen has issued a retraction via ET Online:

“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended, especially to Tony Todd, an African American, who was my best man at my first two weddings,” Sheen groveled. “And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voicemail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.” 

Wow, this guy really doesn’t know when to let something go. Run along, Charlie. Linens ‘n’ Things is having a sale, and you could use a new summer wardrobe.