Orlando Bloom: Miranda Kerr Is Why He’s Smiling

Miranda Kerr: It’s Australian for “Holy sh*t, check out that body, mate.”

The Aussie Victoria’s Secret model and Orlando Bloom bedmate was on the Spanish island of Gran Canaria for a fashion show yesterday. Miranda sported a look that never goes out of style: a smoking-hot package highlighted by a stomach you could bounce a car battery off of.

Fame, fortune and Miranda Kerr: Orlando Bloom must have saved a bus full of orphans from a fiery wreck in a previous life. He’s definitely profiting from some sort of karmic reward. Next, publicists will reveal that he defecates solid-gold coins.