Cops to Cher Groper: ‘We Got You, Babe’

Calvin Hutton Houghland must’ve gotten so loaded, he felt just like Jesse James. Or at least like he was above the law.

The 36-year-old Houghton was arrested early Wednesday morning, after repeatedly harassing and groping Cher at Nashville honky-tonk Tootsies Orchid Lounge.

According to the Associated Press, the touchy-feely dude (Calvin’s the handsome bastard in the photo inset) was tossed from the club after trying to make contact with the singer, but came back soon after (don’t they always?) and grabbed Cher by the waist as she sat in a roped-off VIP area.

Houghland was escorted from the premises but returned again (man, this guy’s tenacious), only to be refused entry. At which point, pie-eyed Cal called the police to complain that he had been assaulted.

Houghland failed a field-sobriety test. But anyone reading this far probably figured that out already.