Madonna and Guy Have Stopped Sleeping Together

Uh-oh; rumors of Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marital discord are gaining credence.

Bastion of journalistic integrity the Sun reports that the couple jetted off for a three-day excursion to Milan last weekend—Ritchie to work on a commercial with George Clooney, and Madonna to make costume arrangements for her upoming tour—but slept in separate rooms. 

“The truth is they piss each other off,” claims a Madge and Guy insider. “[They] don’t agree on anything, don’t see each other or live ‘together’ as they did.”

If they really are on the train to Splitsville, Guy must be relieved. Soon he won’t have to worry about being a cuckold via music video. Or spending his nights at the Kabbalah Center instead of the pub. Or grappling with the emasculating knowledge that your wife could totally kick your ass in an arm-wrestling contest.