Jessica Simpson Takes the Booby Prize
In Touch Weekly has released its list of the “Best Celebrity Breasts,” and newly christened “country” yodeler Jessica Simpson won by a boob.
Simpson, long known for her splendiferous rack (well, it’s better than being known for having a pervy father), recently took some attitude from Pamela Anderson for wearing a “Real Women Eat Meat” T-shirt across her joyous mounds.
Maybe plentiful Pammy was just pissed because she didn’t make the list. Maybe there was some sort of “man-made breasts need not apply” clause.
Tyra Banks came in at number two. Expect a week of heartfelt shows devoted to her newest achievement, in which she will thank her mama and tell all the haters to kiss her fat boobies.
Also in the mammary pack are Audrina Patridge (of the did-she-or-didn’t-she? ilk), Jennifer Aniston (never really known for her rack) and Lindsay Lohan. Lez Lo must be thrilled she made it onto some other list besides “Top Fake Gays” and “Biggest Hollywood Career Casualties.”
Here’s the complete list:
1. Jessica Simpson
2. Tyra Banks
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Carmen Electra
5. Lindsay Lohan
6. Katherine Heigl
7. Audrina Patridge
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Megan Fox
10. Beyoncé Knowles