Michael Lohan Reaches Out and Annoys Someone

Michael Lohan is a prince among men.

The “Christian counselor” and patriarch of show biz’s most dysfunctional family recently admitted he may have fathered an illegitimate daughter, but such trifling concerns haven’t stopped him from leaving whiny voicemails for eldest daughter Lindsay.

Us magazine has published a message that Papa Lohan left for LiLo, pleading forgiveness for blabbing to the media about her personal life.

“I know that you were annoyed that I gave an interview and my need to comment about the people you are around,” Mouthy Mike blubbers. “And I promise you, I absolutely promise you, I will not mention your name in the press, at all, ever again.”

Of course, just because Pa Lohan pimped out Linds’ personal life to the tabloids and made it known he doesn’t care if he sees her again, doesn’t make the whole thing his fault.

“One of the reasons why I got so concerned is because we used to talk all the time,” Pops reasons on the phone. “And then you weren’t returning phone calls, so I was concerned.”

Awesome line of reasoning: Your kid stops taking your calls, so you reconnect with her by spilling dirt to the media.

C’mon, Mike. Even your new buddy Jesus has your number blocked on his cell phone.