Christie Brinkley Divorce Trial: A Whole Lotta Trashy

In only the first two days, Christie Brinkley and architect husband David Cook’s public divorce trial is offering up testimonies and accusations that make the most sordid bathroom-wall writing read like Harry Potter.

At the heart of it all is the affair Cook admitted to having two years ago with a then-18-year-old employee.

E! Online has been delivering the blow-by-blow. Here are some of the more, shall we say, colorful details witnesses and lawyers have divulged so far

* Cook, 49, admitted to sleeping with his teenage employee, Diana Bianchi—and the first time the deed went down, it was in his office.

* He subsequently paid Bianchi $300,000 to keep hush-hush about their affair, and lavished her with thousands of dollars in gifts.

* Brinkley, 54, testified that she learned of her husband’s infidelity when Bianchi’s stepfather approached her as she was about to speak at a local school: “I turned to look at Peter. His face was so tense…He was saying, ‘No.’ I thought, ‘Oh my god. It’s true. He did it.’ I knew from his face.”

* Later that day, Brinkley’s friend, Today Show correspondent Jill Rappaport, apparently rushed to her aid. She said, “When I got there, Christie was lying on the ground huddled with her hands on her knees. I thought she had died. She was sobbing…almost catatonic.”

* During Cook’s marriage to Brinkley, he spent roughly $3,000 a month on Internet porn sites.

* Two of his porn-site screennames were “wannaseeall” and “happyladdie2002,” and he even uploaded a video of himself, er, Cook-ing his own sausage.

* Alexa Ray Joel—Brinkley’s 22-year-old daughter with Billy Joel—recounted an incident wherein Cook shoved her head into a bucket and screamed for the towel-clad girl to clean up after a leak in the ceiling he said she caused by showering too long.

* Joel also testified that Cook would criticize her piano playing or the fact that she chewed her food too loudly.

Yowza! This is only day two! The trial is expected to last four weeks. Have a sleazy summer, you two!