Winner vs. Loser: Lindsay Lohan and Madonna

At this time last year, Lindsay Lohan seemed happy hated being sober after her first DUI arrest and stint in rehab, and quickly relapsed beyond booze with a wild car chase and a case of mysteriously traded pants. One short year later, she’s on Cloud 9 and her future looks bright. Take a look at this week in the life of Lilo:

  • Thankfully she’s not pregnant—but is arriving on time and working hard on her new film Labor Pains.
  • She has voice mail; so she doesn’t have to answer to this.
  • No man has ever made her look as happy as GF/BFF Samantha Ronson does.
  • Linds celebrated the big 2-2 on Wednesday with Red Bull, close friends and family at Teddy’s at Hollywood’s Roosevelt Hotel. Sam even had the night off
On the crummy side of the coin, things were looking up for Madonna in NYC last month, with the sweet release of Hard Candy and a hot new single with Mr. Timberlake himself. But dookie has hit her gym fan, with divorce rumors flying left and right. This has been, by far, the most tumultuous week for the material girl and hubbie Guy Ritchie to date:
  • It’s never a good sign when your husband ditches the Kabbalah and wedding ring in the same seven days.
  • This week might not be the time to sport a NY Yankee’s jersey, since word is that Madonna might be scoring with Alex Rodriguez
  • Finally, Madge, if you’re going to stage a dinner with Guy, you might as well wear the rings and force a smile. You’re not fooling anyone!