The Osbournes Resurrected

Time to brush up on your Ozzy-to-English translation skills.

E! Online reports that the Osbourne family will be returning to the small screen next season, as hosts of a musical/variety program not unlike the Donny and Marie show of yore—though, presumably, with more blood and gore.

The series—which Fox has picked up for six episodes—will be a mix of musical guests, game-show-style segments, comedy sketches and man-on-the-street bits.

Fantastic! Hopefully, Ozzy will be conducting the on-the-street interviews, so the viewing audience can be treated to exchanges like:

OZZY: “Sowhaattayerrhinkaderwhatsis?”

MAN ON THE STREET: “Excuse me? I didn’t understand a word you said.”

OZZY: “Ised, sowhaattayerrhinkaderwhatsis?”

MAN ON THE STREET: “Look, I’m late for work. And you should really get yourself to the hospital; it sounds like you’re having a stroke.”

The new series is slated to kick off with a Christmas special, which will open with Ozzy crucifying a reindeer. Probably.