Orlando Bloom: Still in Deep With Miranda Kerr

Don’t pick Orlando Bloom for the Celebrity Suicide Pool just yet.

Even though the gossip mills have been churning out rumors that Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr had split with the actor in favor of sub-lebrity greaseball Brandon Davis, Kerr’s family claims it just ain’t so.

In Touch Weekly reported yesterday that the bikini-shilling beauty had been “full-on making out” with Davis at two New York nightclubs.

But sources close to Kerr claim that the rendezvous was a simple meeting of longtime friends, with absolutely no spit-swapping involved.

Whew; that’s good news—for Orlando, and the world at large.

Because any man who loses this—especially to a pile of uselessness like Brandon Davis—might snap and start swinging a sword for real.