Miley Cyrus’ Bible Babble

The latest issue of TV Guide has a cover story on the Hannah Montana sensation Miley Cyrus (cover line: “Miracle Miley!”).

The 15-year-old declares her undying love for the Almighty. “I don’t know what I would do without a God that blesses me with the ability to do this,” says Billy Ray Cyrus’ l’il cash cow.

Also, the Number One thing that she can’t live without? “The Bible. It’s my ‘how-to’ guide for life.”

In the same interview, Miley declares that she’d like to do a “version of Sex and the City.” And this is the same wholesome gal who posed topless for the cover of Vanity Fair and sported a suggestive smear of white fluid across her lip for a “Got Milk?” ad.

Whew; she must live by the mantra, “Who Would Jesus Strip For?”

Topping all of this official bawdiness is the fact that some digital stalker claims to have hacked explicit pics of the “7 Things” singer from her iPhone and is trying to peddle them.

The photos would be illegal to print—it’s called “child pornography” or something.

Ask What Would Tyler Durden Do if you don’t understand “child pornography.”

Miley should thank that Lord that it isn’t illegal to pose for sleazy photos while swearing on the Bible about your squeaky-clean lifestyle.