Jennifer Lopez’s Next Movie Will Be Awful Good!

Anybody who was worried that Jennifer Lopez would let motherhood get in the way of her performing career…well, nobody was really worried about that. Rest assured, there’s nothing to worry about.

Variety delivers the scoop on J-Lo’s upcoming flick The Governess. If it’s half as good as it sounds, Lopez will sweep every Oscar category in existence, and they’ll tear down the Statue of Liberty to make room for a gigantic monument to the towering thespian.

Variety reports that the flick’s story “centers on a professional thief who, in order to pull off a major bank heist, poses as a nanny to the three unruly children of a wealthy widower. When she starts to fall for the kids and their father, she must decide if she can give up her past for a chance to start over.”


That doesn’t sound awesome at all. It sounds like a cobbled-together pastiche of every film that Lopez has ever made.

Couldn’t they work a giant snake in there somewhere?