The Olsen Twins: Literature’s Newest Darlings

Humankind, prepare to be awestruck.

On-again, off-again twin moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are set to release a “category-breaking” book this October.

But before you start hyperventilating with furious joy thinking it’s the long-awaited follow-up to So Little Time 2: Instant Boyfriend, cool your jets.

This one’s called Influence.

What’s this soon-to-be-treasured tome about? It really doesn’t matter, because the Olsen Twins are apparently “two of our shared culture’s most influential women.”

At least according to’s product description of the $25 book.

It’s hard to believe the blonde scribes had time to sit down at their typewriters and bang out such poetry, given their dizzying, party-heavy schedules.