Kelly Osbourne Has a Case of the Trots

Kelly Osbourne—making a rare appearance without her bizarre Samantha Ronson-lookalike boyfriend—filmed a skit with BBC Radio 1 DJ Nick “Grimmy” Grimshaw Tuesday. The two of them—haw, haw, haw!—raced to see who could reach a bus the fastest. Boy, if ever there was a gag that was meant for radio…

Anyway, dangerously perched on a pair of high heels, the beefy fruit of Ozzy Osbourne’s loins didn’t exactly come off as the next Constantina Tomescu-Dita, but she wasn’t her usual graceless self either.

And, amazingly, Kelly beat the radio host. Which is odd, because sight of Kelly Osbourne charging toward you like a freakin’ rhinoceros should be enough to make any man run like his life depended on it.