Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Are Having a Baby

Newlywed Charlie Sheen, according to People, has a surprise announcement to make: “Denise Richards is going to be eating for two again!”

The It’s Complicated star is expected to be forking her piehole full of pasta in an attempt to stuff her rage, envy and sense of loss (as in potential child-support dollars).

Her former husband Charlie and his new wife, Brooke Mueller, are expecting a child.

Married in May, Charlie and Brooke have confirmed through Sheen’s rep and a family source that they “are thrilled.”

Sheen is rhapsodic about Brooke’s parenting potential: “She’s the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for. Seeing her love and affection with those three, I know she’ll be an amazing mom.”

Sam and Lola are daughters aged four and three, that Sheen and Richards share.

Charlie has gone to great lengths in the past to stick the dagger into Denise’s heart.

But who would have thought he’d take revenge sex all the way to pregnancy?