Predictions of ‘90210’ Awesomeness!

With no advance screeners of the new 90210’s pilot sent out to critics—not to mention no Tori Spelling, no Brian Austin Green and no Jason Priestley—who’s to say what the show will be like?

(Hey, at least Nat’s back.)

And so, with absolutely nothing to go by, here are a few predictions on what to expect.

    * Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) teaches Bitch Ed to dew-eyed West Beverly High freshman.

    * WBHS principal Harry Wilson (Rob Estes) has an illicit affair with Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth)…

    * …until Brenda bursts in on them and body-checks Kelly into a basketball trophy case.

    * Nat (Joe E. Tata) is a millionaire after selling The Peach Pit’s shuttered storefront to Pinkberry.

    * The new cast…eh, who cares about them.

90210 premieres Tuesday night on the CW. Of course, if you really want to know what happened with some of the original cast members, get updated here.

And take a listen to the updated version of the original show’s theme song below: