Russell Brand Crushes on Dame Helen Mirren

2008 MTV Video Music Awards host and purity ring mocker Russell Brand has the hots for 63-year-old actress Dame Helen Mirren, according to the Mirror.

The two thesps are set to appear in the new film version of Shakespeare’s The Tempest.

“She’s so sexy and enchanting, just look at her form,” he told the paper. “They’re going to have to hold me back when we start work. I’ll be all over her. I don’t know how I’ll get any work done.”

Russell’s dated all over the the red carpet, from drink-sodden Kate Moss to desperation-soaked Phoebe Price, but does he have a chance with the Dame, who’s 30 years his senior?

Nope! Helen is married to director Taylor Hackford. But Russell will no doubt bounce back from this rejection. After all, he still has his Britney Spears fantasies.

The funnyman told the Mirror: “Britney is such a lovely girl. She’s fit and very sweet. If I’d stayed out in L.A., who knows what might have happened.”

What would’ve happened? Maybe something like this?