Kathy Griffin Is on the Warpath

Plastic surgery failure Kathy Griffin gave an interview to Chicago’s local gay lifestyle website Chicagopride.com, and let fly with an artillery full of zingers that would make Mickey Mouse drop dead.

Marvel at her wicked tongue-lashings:

On her Life on the D List network Bravo: “I am trying to extract tens more dollars from Bravo. Those cheap bastards—you would think after four years and two Emmys that they could come up with it.”

On recording her comedy album For Your Consideration: “Some bigwig at Sony had me take out all the Britney Spears material. She was on the label and they didn’t want to have that… So the day the tapes were going to be mastered, they said, ‘You have to take it out or we won’t do it.’ So if I am lucky enough to win [a Grammy], I will have to mention that incident and possibly that person by name.”

On being offered Dancing with the Stars: “That’s actually why I left my agent… I of course love the show. I, of course, want my beloved Lance Bass to win. I am just saying: When you think Kathy Griffin, you think dick jokes. You don’t think leg extensions or tumbling of any kind.”

On Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “Somehow, Elizabeth Hasselbeck has snowed American audiences into not knowing that she is a fucking Survivor reject. I am sorry; I am going to listen to the political beliefs of someone who wore wacky scarves on Survivor?”

Way to go, Kathy! You really nailed these folks…which must have been like making up for lost time.