Now that octogenarian Hugh Hefner has been dumped by Holly Madison, and Kendra Wilkinson is moving on from the Playboy Mansion, the future of The Girls Next Door is looking something close to felonious.
It truly is a crime that Kristina and Karissa Shannon had to come all the way to California from Florida to find true love.
Sure, St. Petersburg has no skimpy-undergarment outlet to compare with the shopping at Trashy Lingerie of Beverly Hills.
And if the new Playboy twins had stayed back home, they’d have zero prospects for hopping in and starring on an established TV series.
But why settle for someone who’s old enough to have committed statutory rape with their grandma?
The Shannon twins should have worn those Mansion Babe T-shirts in the bars of their home state. Who knows what kind of interesting characters they may have met?