Madonna Buying Kids, Thinks She’s Jesus

The Daily Mail reports that Madonna has reportedly offered soon-to-be ex-husband Guy Ritchie an $8 million to allow her “access rights” to their children as part of their divorce settlement.

This would reportedly raise Ritchie’s purported take in their divorce settlement to $32 million.

Madge appears to be trying to avoid a court battle over custody of their children, specifically their one child together – Rocco Ritchie.

It appears as though this is somewhat of a mercy pay-out for Madge, because she feels that she has the upper hand already.

“Madonna has said to Guy that if she ups the money, then would he agree to her setting out the access for the children until they turn 18.  What she is basically saying is that if Guy wants this to go to court, she will get what she wants anyway,” a source says.

In other meglomanical Madge news, the last straw for Ritchie appeared to be during an argument they had in which the Material Mom said she was bigger than Jesus.

“She said the reason why she is a living icon is that she had been chosen to be a spiritual guru. To which Guy turned around and said ‘Listen love, you’re just a singer’. And it was then she turned around to him and said: “Listen baby, I’m bigger than Jesus'”.

And you thought she had already pissed the Pope off before by just writhing on crucifixes…

Tags: Madonna