Madonna: Kabbalah Wants to Be Her Divorce Lawyer

Ball of anger Madonna is caught in a bind, according to the Daily Mail.

It seems that Kabbalah religious leaders want her to end her divorce to director Guy Ritchie quickly and cleanly before the bickering reflects badly on the Jewish mystic religon.

Madonna, however, is reportedly afraid that her rabbi will direct her to part with a larger chunk of change AND relinquish full custody of her children.

Rabbi Berg, Madonna’s Kabbalah leader, is said to hope for a reconciliation.

“At best he would like to put an end to the public raking over of their marriage,” said a source.

Berg has reportedly given Madge a “24-hour deadline” to come back to him with a mediation plan using a roundtable of Kabbalah advisors.

Does Madonna strike you as the type of woman who takes this sort of ordering around? She never used to be.

Plus, isn’t SHE the deity around here?