Charlie Sheen: Do Lap Dances Count As Cheating?

Life has a funny way of biting Charlie Sheen in the butt.

And so, with twin boys on the way, you would think he’d have learned his lesson and reformed his kid-in-a-candy-store (or, more like john-in-a-hooker-den) ways of yore.

But no!!!

Star has revealed the scandalous details of Charlie’s wild bender in Las Vegas from two weekends ago, which apparently went down while wife Brooke Mueller was at home in Los Angeles.

Five words, friends: “women,” “strip club” and “lap dances.”

“He’s still carrying on and boozing,” says a source, who goes on to add that Brooke found out about the shenanigans and “went off the deep end.”

Charlie, dude, if Matthew McConaughey can keep it togethersomewhat…surely you can?

“She’s expecting their sons, and she wants them to be one big happy family,” says another source of Mueller. “She’s got the trump card, and they both know it.”

Actually, if she held the Trump card, Sheen might end up being hung out to dry for good.